Happy Summer!

Summers in NYC mean…

1. My neighbors leave their windows open and blast New Age music. And sing along.
2. I close my windows and sit comfortably in air conditioning.
3. Children are out of school.
4. Children are playing outside my apartment.(I know this because SCREAMING LOUDLY = HAVING FUN!)
5. Fewer Naps.

This is like a logic proof. IF there are children screaming loudly in close proximity THEN they are having fun. I sleep less during the day. THEREFORE (the dotted triangle) I sleep less during the day WHEN children are having fun by the Law Of Disjunctive Inference or "LODI."

6. HUMIDITY HUMIDITY HUMIDITY.
7. Wearing sandals!
8. Regretting wearing sandals.
9. Skimpy clothes.
10. Feeling fat.
11. Flavored ice.
12. Roof parties.
13. Roof “accidents.”
14. Jump in sales for roof-fence-makers.
15. Blockbuster sequels.
16. National Increase in pirate jokes and Johnny Depp magazine covers.
17. Fruit Flies.
18. Traveling.
19. Subways Smell Worse.
20. Splurging cabs more often.
21. A new gym membership.

If you have anything else you’d like me to add to this list, let me know!