Futuristic Dental Care of the Future's Future

A Product Review of the Toothbrush that Sings

My new iPhone can do everything except brush my teeth. Which is why, ladies and gentlemen, I’ve invested in a new toothbrush.

This is NO ORDINARY TOOTHBRUSH. This brush, called “Tooth Tunes” plays 2 minutes of music in your mouth while you’re brushing. THIS IS JUST WHAT I’VE ALWAYS BEEN LOOKING FOR IN A TOOTHBRUSH!

It doesn’t promise to clean your teeth extra well. It doesn’t spin, or have any other electronic function other than playing music when you press a button. The big idea behind this fancy toothbrush is that the longer the music is playing, the more you’ll want to brush your teeth to listen to it. PUTTING A RADIO IN YOUR BATHROOM AND PLAYING IT WHILE YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH IS THE DUMBEST IDEA EVER. If you want to hear the same song over and over again while you brush your teeth, this toothbrush is really the best way to go.

The brush comes in a variety of styles: Hannah Montana, High School Musical, Queen, Kiss, Cartoon theme songs, etc. My toothbrush accidentally came with a Spanish song on it called “Ser 0 Parecer” performed by a group called RBD. I can’t wait to learn this song – I watched the music video and have no idea what’s going on, but anything that involves cassette tapes with tentacles and a group of Spice Girls dressed entirely like Shakira gets my thumbs-up for approval.

I haven’t tried it yet, but I have a gut feeling about this brush, and that gut feeling is that I’m glad I got it for free.