A Letter to Coca-Cola

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to compliment you on your product “Coca-Cola.” I also enjoy your product “Diet Coke.” If I could only drink “Coca-Cola” products, I would. I also drink a lot of tap water.

I love your soft drinks more than anything else on the market. Here are a few examples of this:

1. Everytime I ask for “Diet Coke” at a restaurant and a waiter says, “Is ‘Diet Pepsi’ okay?” I say “No.” Then I drink tap water.
2. I only have “Diet Coke” in my fridge.

This past year I was really upset when NYU banned your soft drinks from campus. I was like “Why am I paying you 30 grand a year to NOT drink what I like?” I know that the deliciousness of your product would not be the same without the cheap labor they were talking so much about. I just graduated though, so screw them, right?

Also, your commercials are the least annoying of all the soft drink ads they play in the movie theater. I do have to admit that those Fanta commercials are pretty catchy, though. And disorienting.

Anyway, I commend you on the consistent quality of your product “Coca-Cola.” (Your drink, “Diet Coke,” is also really good). I hope that you continue to make “Coca-Cola” so this way, I can continue to drink it.

Thanks, and keep up the good work!