Dear Mystery Neighbor That Lives Above Me,
Recently you’ve been making some extra efforts to show how much you care about me. I’ve never seen so much love come from a neighbor that lives above me instead of next to me. I guess it’s also surprising because I’ve never met you. I wanted to take a moment to let you know that your ceaseless demonstrations of how much you care mean a lot to me. I appreciate it, and I appreciate you.
New York City is a loud and busy place, and everyone needs a good reminder that they need to take a step back and get some rest. When you left a note taped to our door about how we were up too late on a Saturday night, we knew it was because you were looking out for us. We also know that when you say “the noise [we] produce is really becoming a problem for you” it means you’re worried. You’re probably upstairs, awake, thinking “What if they stay up too late and miss their brunch plans tomorrow?” or maybe even something worse, like ‘What if they have big bags under their eyes?!”
Thank you for worrying. If nothing else, it’s important to know that there’s someone who cares.
It’s the little things that make big statements, you know? Last night, around 11:30, you must have heard me reading something out loud to my boyfriend sitting next to me, and you swiftly struck your foot on the floor several times as if to say “Hey, It’s bedtime. People are going to bed.” Thank you. Sometimes you need someone above you looking out for your best interests, and since you’re literally above me, I guess I really lucked out. Today I’m well rested and you are in my thoughts. As I write this letter, each strike of the keyboard keys reminds me of the kind, unforgettable, loud (but not too loud, the perfect kind of loud=) sound of the impact of your foot on the hard wood floors that probably resemble that of my own apartment. I mean, if you’re not going to encourage me to get more sleep, who is?
I’ve never seen you in person, and I’m really jealous my boyfriend has answered the doors to your visits. Sometimes you’ve come to let us know that you can hear our music, (I’m glad you think we have good taste?!) and other times you’ve stopped by just to tell us that it’s midnight on a Friday and that you’ve had a rough week. I’m so glad you feel that you can open up to us even though we really have no idea who you are. You’re also always ready to tell us the time. Thank you for keeping us on schedule! You’re just the person living above us, but really, you’re so much more.
You’ve been caring a lot more lately, and please don’t think I haven’t noticed. Two nights ago you stomped on the floor. It wasn’t just any stomp. This stomp had some extra love and care to it. I imagined that it was the sound of a mother, lovingly banging pots and pans together 14 feet away from me in a vertical direction. I awoke, and was blessed to hear the voice of this mystery man, this goodly spirit, this fairy-man-mother of East Village apartments when you yelled down the airshaft “SHUT UP, IT’S 2 IN THE MORNING!” I really appreciated that you would stay up so late to let me know that I should be getting more rest. I didn’t respond because I wanted to show you I was listening. I pretended to still be asleep, and really tried hard to go back to sleep. I think you noticed because then you shouted like a coach to their rag-tag team of rapscallions, “AND STAY QUIET.”
I think we give you purpose [not that someone as mindful as you wouldn’t have purpose without us]. But I think, and I hope, that you really get satisfaction out of reminding us that you’re less than suited to live in a neighborhood like the East Village in New York City. Maybe you’re looking to become another local legend? The next reason to have a musical based in the area? Or maybe you’re just looking for someone to suggest somewhere else for someone your age to live. Maybe you’re looking for us to be looking out for you. Trust me when I tell you, we’re working on it.
If nothing else, you’ve made an impact on my life, and I’ve told myself that as soon as we move out of our apartment beneath you, I’ll give you this letter as a way of saying “Thank You.” I hope you achieve your dreams.
Love,
Your Neighbors Jackie and Adam
PS – IT’S 2 AM! Haha, get it? Now I’m telling you the time! LOL
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Why The First 32 Days of 2011 Have Been Great
The entrance of 2011 was particularly tumultuous. After losing the keys to our apartment on new years eve and being locked out of our apartment for a few hours, we made it back into our house and to rebel bingo and had a glorious and debaucherous evening of tacos and four loco. This is why 2011 has started off super swell.
1.The discovery of 10-cent wing night!
2.Rebel Bingo!
3. Taco Addiction!
4. Seeing The Colbert Report!
5. Bell, Book and Candle!
6. Seeing The Daily Show!
7. Long Weekend in New Orleans!
8. Seeing Spiderman on Broadway!
9. The lack of time I needed to stay afterschool!
10. My ability to keep my new years resolution and shop way less!
11. Long Weekend in Torino, Italy!
12. Starbucks gift cards for completing my Quest PD first!
13. Registering for my NYS teaching certification exams!
14. Finishing my grad school application!
15. Joyous times with friends (mostly with or around 10 cent wings)!
16. Finishing two more songs with Soce!
17. Emailing my favorite nerdcore rapper Schaffer the Darklord for advice!
18. Not having to make the program for Carnegie Hall!
19. Newest high scores in fruit ninja (843?!)
20. Lording newest high scores in fruit ninja over my 9th graders heads!
21. Acknowledgement that the 8th grade play was awesome!
22. Losing my astrological sign and then getting it back!
23. Pre-Production on the music video for spicify my love!
24. Posting on my blog after a whole year of not doing that!
25. Run-ins with old friends on the street!
26. Jersey Shore Season 3.
27. You’re Cut Off enters my life.
28. Good evaluation from one of my boss’s!
29. FIRST SNOW DAY OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!
30. Being told it looks like I lost weight!
31. Having 6th graders clap and cheer for me when I enter the room!
32. Newfound motivation to be the awesomest at everything! Where did it come from?!?!
33. Jeremiah got into college!
It’s funny that I’m posting this on a day that has been arguably the worst this year. It’s the type of day when there’s a massive ice storm and your metro card expires and you think you’re going to miss the train because you have to literally run everywhere on sheets of ice and the students have to do the same so they’re all in bad moods. I hope today gets better though! Maybe I’ll go cash that paycheck I haven’t yet put in my bank account to make me feel like I’ve achieved something.
1.The discovery of 10-cent wing night!
2.Rebel Bingo!
3. Taco Addiction!
4. Seeing The Colbert Report!
5. Bell, Book and Candle!
6. Seeing The Daily Show!
7. Long Weekend in New Orleans!
8. Seeing Spiderman on Broadway!
9. The lack of time I needed to stay afterschool!
10. My ability to keep my new years resolution and shop way less!
11. Long Weekend in Torino, Italy!
12. Starbucks gift cards for completing my Quest PD first!
13. Registering for my NYS teaching certification exams!
14. Finishing my grad school application!
15. Joyous times with friends (mostly with or around 10 cent wings)!
16. Finishing two more songs with Soce!
17. Emailing my favorite nerdcore rapper Schaffer the Darklord for advice!
18. Not having to make the program for Carnegie Hall!
19. Newest high scores in fruit ninja (843?!)
20. Lording newest high scores in fruit ninja over my 9th graders heads!
21. Acknowledgement that the 8th grade play was awesome!
22. Losing my astrological sign and then getting it back!
23. Pre-Production on the music video for spicify my love!
24. Posting on my blog after a whole year of not doing that!
25. Run-ins with old friends on the street!
26. Jersey Shore Season 3.
27. You’re Cut Off enters my life.
28. Good evaluation from one of my boss’s!
29. FIRST SNOW DAY OF THE SCHOOL YEAR!
30. Being told it looks like I lost weight!
31. Having 6th graders clap and cheer for me when I enter the room!
32. Newfound motivation to be the awesomest at everything! Where did it come from?!?!
33. Jeremiah got into college!
It’s funny that I’m posting this on a day that has been arguably the worst this year. It’s the type of day when there’s a massive ice storm and your metro card expires and you think you’re going to miss the train because you have to literally run everywhere on sheets of ice and the students have to do the same so they’re all in bad moods. I hope today gets better though! Maybe I’ll go cash that paycheck I haven’t yet put in my bank account to make me feel like I’ve achieved something.
Saturday, January 01, 2011
Hello 2011. I'm going to own you.
New Years 2011: Bring it
The close of 2010 was faced with both badness and awesomeness. On the final day of the year, the cosmos were so in balance with themselves, every time I was struck with something that left me feeling terrible, it would soon be eradicated and replaced with a feeling of greatness. I hope the pendulum swinging from good to bad on the final day of the year is not indicative of how 2011 will go. In fact, I hope that 2011 remains mostly on the good side of the pendulum, with a heavy weight in the way to keep it from going anywhere else. I don’t even want it to slowly fell back to the middle, which is “the okay zone”.
To recap how December 31st fell upon me like a ton of bricks:
2011: Be awesome.
After a moment mourning the end of a friendship, I went to brunch and bought a book about zombies. Both were awesome. Brunch was delicious. The time is now, and only now for things to be good.
2011: Things you set in place in the past will start to be fruitful now.
Reservations at NYC’s most exclusive prohibition bar? Set.
Certificates of Completion for all of my UCB Training? Set.
A love for bingo and raves? Set.
2011: Still getting student specials at the taco place across the street.
3 dollars for 2 tacos and a soda?! You can’t beat that. Especially if you’re not really a student.
2011: The best things in life are free.
Love. Happiness. Free purses on the street from a vintage store going out of business?! Yeah, this was a good moment in the day.
2011: Roll with the punches.
My boyfriend lost the keys to our apartment, and we were locked out for a while. For 2 hours, we wandered the streets of NYC looking for the keys to our own apartment. We were homeless, and looked the part as we scanned the ground again and again for something shiny. Finally, a friend called and said they found them.
Life felt so good. Home is where I want to be. This must be the place.
2011: Resolutions.
1. Shop Less. Save for the future.
2. I need to make myself happy. Until I do that, I can’t possibly start to make others happy.
3. Create more: Jokes. Songs. I should always be in the habit of creating.
4. Cleaning out what I don’t need. This is serious quarter-life crisis mode.
5. Appreciating my family more. They’re pretty awesome, and there are always ways to show it.
6. Write my damn book.
7. Get famous.
2010 was really great. 2011 will be even better.
All the best, and Happy New Year to the five people that read my blog.
Jackie
The close of 2010 was faced with both badness and awesomeness. On the final day of the year, the cosmos were so in balance with themselves, every time I was struck with something that left me feeling terrible, it would soon be eradicated and replaced with a feeling of greatness. I hope the pendulum swinging from good to bad on the final day of the year is not indicative of how 2011 will go. In fact, I hope that 2011 remains mostly on the good side of the pendulum, with a heavy weight in the way to keep it from going anywhere else. I don’t even want it to slowly fell back to the middle, which is “the okay zone”.
To recap how December 31st fell upon me like a ton of bricks:
2011: Be awesome.
After a moment mourning the end of a friendship, I went to brunch and bought a book about zombies. Both were awesome. Brunch was delicious. The time is now, and only now for things to be good.
2011: Things you set in place in the past will start to be fruitful now.
Reservations at NYC’s most exclusive prohibition bar? Set.
Certificates of Completion for all of my UCB Training? Set.
A love for bingo and raves? Set.
2011: Still getting student specials at the taco place across the street.
3 dollars for 2 tacos and a soda?! You can’t beat that. Especially if you’re not really a student.
2011: The best things in life are free.
Love. Happiness. Free purses on the street from a vintage store going out of business?! Yeah, this was a good moment in the day.
2011: Roll with the punches.
My boyfriend lost the keys to our apartment, and we were locked out for a while. For 2 hours, we wandered the streets of NYC looking for the keys to our own apartment. We were homeless, and looked the part as we scanned the ground again and again for something shiny. Finally, a friend called and said they found them.
Life felt so good. Home is where I want to be. This must be the place.
2011: Resolutions.
1. Shop Less. Save for the future.
2. I need to make myself happy. Until I do that, I can’t possibly start to make others happy.
3. Create more: Jokes. Songs. I should always be in the habit of creating.
4. Cleaning out what I don’t need. This is serious quarter-life crisis mode.
5. Appreciating my family more. They’re pretty awesome, and there are always ways to show it.
6. Write my damn book.
7. Get famous.
2010 was really great. 2011 will be even better.
All the best, and Happy New Year to the five people that read my blog.
Jackie
Saturday, January 02, 2010
2010 Resolutions
2009 has surely been a cray cray year. I assisted with the production of, quite possibly, the worst musical ever. I started doing Bikram Yoga. I traveled to foreign lands, like Brooklyn and 125th street. It’s been a big year for me, but I need to make some changes to make 2010 even bigger.
Also, let's talk about decades. I mean, I've already lived through two! Sweet Jesus.
In 2010, I resolve to…
1. Write more.
2. Exercise?
3. Not subsist on a diet entirely of candy.
4. Not subsist on a diet entirely of popcorn.
5. Not subsist on a diet entirely of cheerios.
6. Eat better?
7. Treat myself!
8. Give more gifts.
9. Treat myself!
10. Win things.
11. Treat myself!
12. Read more.
13. Learn how to relax.
14. Write lists.
15. Be funny.
16. Spend less on haircuts.
17. Finish my pop song.
18. Make music video for pop song.
19. Become internet super sensation.
20. Use internet sensationalism to gain world power.
21. Solve the economic crisis.
22. Have face added to Mount Rushmore.
23. Rename our capital “Jackietown”.
24. Try skiing.
25. Win more things.
26. Treat myself!
27. Lose a million pounds. I mean, really. A million.
28. Read all those books I have to read.
29. Be more thankful for all the awesome family and friends I have.
30. Live alone.
31. Love living alone.
32. Become a hermit.
33. Become a Kermit.
34. Kiss a princess.
35. Become a prince.
36. Solve the economic crisis.
37. Have face added to mount rushmore.
38. Rename the our capital “Jackietown”.
39. Treat myself!
40. Be an all around better Jackie.
2010 is bound to be the best. All the best to all you blog-readers that don’t exist!
Also, let's talk about decades. I mean, I've already lived through two! Sweet Jesus.
In 2010, I resolve to…
1. Write more.
2. Exercise?
3. Not subsist on a diet entirely of candy.
4. Not subsist on a diet entirely of popcorn.
5. Not subsist on a diet entirely of cheerios.
6. Eat better?
7. Treat myself!
8. Give more gifts.
9. Treat myself!
10. Win things.
11. Treat myself!
12. Read more.
13. Learn how to relax.
14. Write lists.
15. Be funny.
16. Spend less on haircuts.
17. Finish my pop song.
18. Make music video for pop song.
19. Become internet super sensation.
20. Use internet sensationalism to gain world power.
21. Solve the economic crisis.
22. Have face added to Mount Rushmore.
23. Rename our capital “Jackietown”.
24. Try skiing.
25. Win more things.
26. Treat myself!
27. Lose a million pounds. I mean, really. A million.
28. Read all those books I have to read.
29. Be more thankful for all the awesome family and friends I have.
30. Live alone.
31. Love living alone.
32. Become a hermit.
33. Become a Kermit.
34. Kiss a princess.
35. Become a prince.
36. Solve the economic crisis.
37. Have face added to mount rushmore.
38. Rename the our capital “Jackietown”.
39. Treat myself!
40. Be an all around better Jackie.
2010 is bound to be the best. All the best to all you blog-readers that don’t exist!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Christmas Borscht
This is the story of Christmas Borscht and how gross it is.
At the ripe age of 24, I have the same diet as an 80-year-old Ukrainian woman.
Lunch = Lentil soup.
Dinner = Borscht.
Snacks = Children.
For those of you that don’t know, Borscht is a beet-based soup that makes your poop magenta. I frequent a place called Veselka in the east village and order a cup of Vegetarian Borscht several times a week– it’s brothy, has a lot of vegetables, and, in my opinion, is super delicious.
Today when I stopped by Veselka and asked for the usual, they said “We don’t have Vegetarian Borscht, we only have “Christmas Borscht”, which is also vegetarian.” How far could a vegetarian borscht be from Vegetarian Borscht? Very far. Very. Very. Far.
Being Jewish, I should have been wary of eating “Christmas” anything. Christmas Carols. Christmas Trees. Christmas Cheer. All have the ability to disgust or crush me.
“Christmas Borscht” takes normal borscht to new levels. It is hilarious to say out loud. It implies reindeer and presents are involved. It is disappointing on all accounts.
From the moment I opened the container, I knew it was all wrong. There was the sent of an added spice that was a total curveball to my borscht experience. A gross curveball. Like, a curveball that smelled like ass. It was only downhill from there.
When I put my spoon in to brave the Christmas Borscht, there were no vegetables. There were only what could be described as “dumplings”, but instead of dumplings, they were really more like oversized tortellini that were stained pink on the outside, and totally black and mushy in the middle. I assumed I was eating mushrooms, but a part of me knows that’s wishful thinking.
I couldn’t finish it. I mean, you should have seen it. Smelled it. It’s been an hour since I tried to down it. Three pieces of gum later, and I still taste it. A part of me wants nothing to do with beets ever again.
I realize that eating, liking, and craving beet-soup is pretty weird, but Christmas Borscht isn’t helping. Christmas Borscht is giving normal borscht a bad name, and I think we should ban together and protest. Think of the other holidays and the tainted borscht experiences they’ll provide…and how each one will be a mystery meal.
At the ripe age of 24, I have the same diet as an 80-year-old Ukrainian woman.
Lunch = Lentil soup.
Dinner = Borscht.
Snacks = Children.
For those of you that don’t know, Borscht is a beet-based soup that makes your poop magenta. I frequent a place called Veselka in the east village and order a cup of Vegetarian Borscht several times a week– it’s brothy, has a lot of vegetables, and, in my opinion, is super delicious.
Today when I stopped by Veselka and asked for the usual, they said “We don’t have Vegetarian Borscht, we only have “Christmas Borscht”, which is also vegetarian.” How far could a vegetarian borscht be from Vegetarian Borscht? Very far. Very. Very. Far.
Being Jewish, I should have been wary of eating “Christmas” anything. Christmas Carols. Christmas Trees. Christmas Cheer. All have the ability to disgust or crush me.
“Christmas Borscht” takes normal borscht to new levels. It is hilarious to say out loud. It implies reindeer and presents are involved. It is disappointing on all accounts.
From the moment I opened the container, I knew it was all wrong. There was the sent of an added spice that was a total curveball to my borscht experience. A gross curveball. Like, a curveball that smelled like ass. It was only downhill from there.
When I put my spoon in to brave the Christmas Borscht, there were no vegetables. There were only what could be described as “dumplings”, but instead of dumplings, they were really more like oversized tortellini that were stained pink on the outside, and totally black and mushy in the middle. I assumed I was eating mushrooms, but a part of me knows that’s wishful thinking.
I couldn’t finish it. I mean, you should have seen it. Smelled it. It’s been an hour since I tried to down it. Three pieces of gum later, and I still taste it. A part of me wants nothing to do with beets ever again.
I realize that eating, liking, and craving beet-soup is pretty weird, but Christmas Borscht isn’t helping. Christmas Borscht is giving normal borscht a bad name, and I think we should ban together and protest. Think of the other holidays and the tainted borscht experiences they’ll provide…and how each one will be a mystery meal.
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