(Character A enters holding a box of "Mallomars" cookies, with the "mars" part clearly crossed off and the word "jews" written/taped over it. The box should say "Mallowjews.")
A: Tis the season for everyone's favorite kosher cookie!
(Character B reaches for a cookie, Character C hesitates)
C: Wait, what's Kosher mean again?
B: It means that these cookies don't have meat and cheese in them.
(Character C looks confused, grabs a cookie and studies it)
C: So they're not like those bacon cookies we had last week?
A: No, those were kosher because they didn't have any cheese in them. They only had bacon.
B: And I don't know if those were "bacon cookies" or if it was just "bacon" you were eating.
C: Well, looks like I'm going to be really rich for inventing the Bacon Cookie.
A: What will you call them?
C: Probably something like "Bacon Cookies."
B: Yeah, anythings better than my cookie name, "Mallowjews."
C: At least they're both kosher.
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3 comments:
This is you to a T. I love it. Would you be allowed to perform it with the kids?
Thanks, Jackie.
Thanks a lot.
Finding out that Oreos weren't kosher for the entire duration of my childhood - that they actually used beef fat or something equally disgusting as an emulsifier - cost me three years of expensive therapy. I had just begun to forget about how many pounds of the stuff I must have eaten from ages 4 - 12.
And now you bring it all crashing back.
CRASHING BACK!
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